The Apprentice Series 4 - Episode 2


Shazia

A Travesty

Washer women!

The Task: Set up a laundry business in 24 hours and make as much profit as possible.
Boy's Team: This is one of those rare occasions where I was actually really impressed with the boys as they had eight hours to sort out over 1500 pieces of laundry (I think) and they did it, bloody well done boys! Particularly, as it takes four people to press a sheet which clearly requires team work and excellent camaraderie. To be honest, on the back of this performance I would employ anyone of them but definitely Simon, who seems logical, well organised and got the job done (give me a call any time Simon).

Couldn’t help but feel the producers chose laundry in the hope that the fit boys (that’s Lee and Alex in my opinion) got their tops off, but no such luck! I loved the arrogant dig at the girls in the morning of “see you later girls, miss you!”, clearly they are bastards but very funny!

Girl's Team: This week it appears that the girls go back to the playground as the boys step up to the mark. The girls team was a complete mess from the outset, highlights being: the lack of middle ground between £1500 and £15 (surely one phone call would have resolved this), the complete mix up of people’s orders and actually losing some clothes, the “begging” for tips (here’s a tip, it is never good business to beg!) and of course the general “squabbling” between Jenny and Lucinda (that brings back memories). Jenny actually hung up the phone on Lucinda and apparently these are the tycoons of the future, please!

I loved the bit where some of the girls (including the organiser Shazia) go back to the house to carry on ironing but the iron(y) is the boys have locked them away (he he!).

Boardroom: Back in the boardroom the boys appear to all be in love with posh Raef whereas there seems to be some doubt about Jenny’s management (……no really!). The girls clearly lose by a large margin. Amongst more squabbling it dawns on Jenny that SAS blames Shazia and so she, along with Lucinda, is dragged back into the boardroom. Lucinda defends herself well, but clearly Jenny just doesn’t like her and Jenny completely destroys Shazia by saying she lied, complained and manipulated and I Shazia was completely unprepared for this level of abuse. Jenny then goes on to be the most patronising contestant ever and actually states that she had to breast feed the other two (which gave me a deeply uncomfortable image!).

SAS, rightful, thinks the squabbling is deeply unprofessional and then completely unexpectedly fires Shazia. The cynic in me is pretty sure that this is to allow the pantomime between Jenny and Lucinda to continue.

Shazia Wahab This lady came across really well on the “You’re Fired” and made some classic quotes: about Jenny “she should have been made accountable for her mistakes and not me!”, about what she would do to get the job “well I wouldn’t sleep with someone”, about brainstorming “well there was plenty of arguing” and the best being the Freudian slip of continuing on The Apprentice as “going further down”.

Jenny Celerier What can I say this woman is simply hateful and spoke to everyone, including SAS, like they are approximately five…in fact to come to think of it I would treat five year olds with more respect. I wish I had the software to merge her face with that of Katie Hopkins (sends shivers down your spine). I loved the montage of her on You’re Fired with the music of “your poison running through my veins”. However, maybe I am a masochist, I am actually looking forward to seeing more of her, and I guess that is how good TV works!

Lucinda Ledgerwood The Katie better-looking-alike is clearly very articulate and is actually coming across really well (loving the liberal use of “irksome”), although as Adrian Chiles says perhaps we as a nation just instantly take a dislike to the posh.

Simon Smith Clearly great at logistics but the best bit for me was the Lawrence of ARaefia comment.

<Read Episode 3...coming soon>