The Apprentice Series 3 - Episode 12


Go on have a snog!

"Opposites Repel"

The task: Simon and Kristina have four days to come up with conceptual ideas for a new building in place of Sir Alan's £120m riverside building, make money and give a grand presentation to over 100 hard-nosed property experts and Sir Alan.

Apart from Adam, both Kristina and Simon clearly wanted to win this competition more than anyone else in the house and (though I am reluctant to admit it), both thoroughly deserved to be in the final, even if they are complete opposites. I personally found it an extremely dignified final which I think was down to Kristina's maturity and grace. My main overriding opinion was “thank god” I was in Egypt at the filming of the final as the ex-candidates were promised a fair airing and a chance to improve their reputation with the public: which clearly didn't work for Paul or Rory or in fact Tre and frankly we didn't really see the rest (Kristina's team: Natalie, Naomi, Adam and Paul, Simon's team: Tre, Lohit, Jadine, Rory).

Kristina's Team: I was astounded that Kristina choose Paul, given their history of not exactly “connecting”, but she must have thought her luck was in when she found out that Paul was a quantity surveyor...short lived joy though as Paul's design measurements for the Phoenix building lost Kristina a potential £53 million and potentially the entire game. Clearly, Kristina completely sidelined Adam and Natalie, presumably to where they can do no harm and put them both in charge of props for the display, which ended up looking remarkably like a whore house in Amsterdam.

Simon's Team: Oh my lord, surely this building is the most overt penis extension ever conceptualised, it is just a question of which of the boys needs such compensation. In fact there are three waves and three boys...you do the maths, I am clearly bad at it (see episode 1). I guess it was inevitable that Rory and Tre would clash over ideas for design, dancers and in fact anything and that having these two in the team would have a somewhat negative impact on morale. Simon then effectively bribed the team with the promise of a trip to Barcelona if he won (to my knowledge this hasn't taken place...yet!), but in a moment of true Tre(mendous) brilliance was when he said he would rather stab himself in the eye than go on holiday with Rory.

The Results: So SAS chose Simon, the bubbly enthusiastic, ideas boy, who is a little scatty and emotional over the practical, focussed and determined, serious and results-driven Kristina. To be honest I felt anti-climatic and gutted: I even tried to stage a walk out when we found out the results on the “You're Hired!” show. As much as I like Simon, I found Kristina more impressive and consistent throughout. Actually, on reflection I wish I had walked out, as the filming of the after show was terminal with SAS's ramblings and his extraction of yet another pound of flesh from the ever more skinny Ms Hopkins. I thought SAS was looking for someone “drop dead shrewd”, now come on Simon is a loveable fool but hardly meets that description.

All that said I LOVE this programme and can not wait till next year, lets see who else is gullible enough to put themselves through this heartache!

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